Is it OK to Ask Friends or Family to “Work” My Wedding?
Written by Julianne Cuomo, our Director of Celebrations.
One of the most common questions I get from engaged couples is whether or not it’s OK to ask a friend or family member to “work” their wedding. To answer this popular question, I ask the couple the following:
- Is your friend/family member part of the bridal party? You cannot have someone “work” your wedding who is a member of the bridal party. There’s just not enough time in the day and they will have other responsibilities. Consider how involved they will be with the bride and groom – they will need to help them get ready, get ready themselves, escort guests, etc.
- Is your friend/family member a guest at the wedding? If you want this person to be a guest at your wedding, they cannot “work” your wedding. You don’t want them to miss out on your special day and not feel included because they are busy “working” it.
Photographing/filming a wedding is a full day job. Not only do many couples want the photographer to capture the ceremony and the reception, some also request footage of the rehearsal dinner, and even of the bridal party getting ready before the wedding. If you want to capture your wedding day in its entirety, be sure to hire people who are not involved in (or guests at) your wedding.
A lot of professional studios bring multiple photographers to your wedding so that they have the manpower to capture every angle of those special moments like your first kiss and your first dance as husband and wife. When you have a friend take pictures, you won’t have the advantage of having multiple skilled professionals on site and therefore may miss out on capturing something special.
Unlike the food or decorations for your wedding, you will have your wedding photos/video forever. You will want to be able to look back at them and remember that BEAUTIFUL day. Professional photographers know the best shots, they have high quality camera equipment, they understand how to work the lighting to make you look your best, and they know how to be at the right place at the right time to capture a moment. After all, they do this for a living!
If You Choose to Have a Friend Do Your Photography…
If you do choose to have a friend photograph or film your wedding, there is the advantage that they know you intimately. Because they understand your personality, they will be able to highlight it in their photography. However, there is always the chance of losing that professionalism you desire from the task at hand. Not to mention – if you aren’t happy with the product, does that affect your relationship?
If you have a friend who is a photographer, but you don’t want them to miss out on your special day by “working your wedding”, they can still feel included and special by doing one (or all) of the following:
- Taking your engagement photos
- Being the designated photographer at your engagement party, bridal shower, etc.
- Putting together a pre-wedding photo album of all of the special moments in the wedding planning stage. These can be photos of cake tastings, dress shopping, visiting venues, and more.
Friends and family can certainly do the setup and decorating for other parties in your wedding season, but it’s best to have a professional wedding coordinator take care of the day-of details. Remember, you’re going to be busy on your wedding day, and you’re not going to have time to teach your friends and family a crash course on the vision of your wedding.
If your friends and family members really want to help with your wedding, ask them to take part in a few fun tasks that can be done BEFORE the day of the wedding. These tasks may include making the party favors, deciding on how to showcase the guestbook, and other fun ideas to highlight your personality.
After all, your friends and family know you best. By letting them help with these types of tasks, you can make them feel appreciated AND they’ll be able to enjoy your special day instead of having to worry about the last minute details.
Remember, a DJ for a wedding has a much different role than a DJ at a nightclub or even at a children’s birthday party. A wedding DJ does much more than play music – he or she helps a wedding flow smoothly, announces the bridal party, emcees the wedding reception, and makes sure that people are out on the dance floor having fun.
A great wedding DJ can make a reception truly memorable and entertaining for everyone, not just for the family of the couple. Professional wedding DJs understand that their role is to make people feel informed and comfortable, while a friend or family member may not be able to emcee objectively.
On the other hand, one advantage of having a friend DJ your wedding is that your friend knows you really well and can easily cater to your specific musical tastes. However, think about the nature of your relationship with this person – if you want them to truly enjoy your special day with you, they shouldn’t “work” your wedding.
What We Offer at Golden Ocala
At Golden Ocala, our wedding coordinator can help you with the details of your wedding, allowing your friends and family to enjoy the day with you! We provide assistance in tasks such as setting up your guestbook/photos, placing favors appropriately on tables, planning the rehearsal dinner, choosing vendors (we have a preferred vendor list!), and more.